SUCCESS!

When I was in Jr. High School, one of the cheerleaders accustomed to the cheer “S-U-C-C-E-S-S, that’s the way we spell SUCCESS!” spelled the word “success” wrong on her spelling test.  She was not successful, at least not in spelling that word.  Many years have passed and I’m sure she ismore successful now.  What about you?  Are you successful?  Are you successful in life? In marriage?  In parenting?  In your job?  What are the standards in which you measure success?  Here are a few standards that were sent to me by my spamfather (aka father-in-law) Bob:

At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.

At age 12 success is having friends.

At age 16 success is having a drivers license.

At age 35 success is having money.

At age 50 success is having money.

At age 70 success is having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is having friends.

At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.

We all have different standards of success in life.  Success may mean different things to different people.  But what does success mean to God?  Does God define success by our standards of having 2.5 kids, a white pickett fence, spouse, dog, cat, and a job that pays well?  No.  I believe He might define our success as being

S-inners

U-nder

C-hrist’s

C-ross

E-very

S-ingle

S-econd.

Success in His eyes is to believe in Christ’s death on the cross and have our lives demonstrate this belief through our actions.  We will not be perfect in this.  Being perfect is what Christ had done.  That is His success.  Not ours.  Ours is to believe and live out our beliefs through obedience.  And when we fail, we return to the cross and believe.  His success in living, dying, and raising from the dead will always trump our failings.  It is all that matters.  Did your marriage fall apart?  Did you lose your job? Did you only have 1.5 kids?  Don’t let these things bring you down.  Only the Accuser wants to point out your failings.  Only the Accuser calls you a failure.  The present and future chapters have yet to be lived.  So partner with Christ to live your life successfully!

The Fear Factor: Part 1

I understand that the Fear Factor is trying to make a comeback on national TV.  You know, that reality game show that makes people do crazy things by having them face their fears through  bravery or stupidity (you choose).  Oh what people would do for the chance to win loads of cash.  Facing our fears is nothing new, though.

I had the opportunity to watch Green Lantern the other night and saw one theme that ran throughout the movie.  Facing your fears.  Fear of what?  Of death.  Rejection. Intimacy. Failure.  All of these fears were prevalent throughout the movie, and the main character, Hal Jordan, had to overcome them in order to save the world.  Of course, he did it all rather quickly, too.  Amazing!  For most of us in the real world, overcoming fear takes a bit longer…probably because we  don’t have the fate of the world on our shoulders either.   Whew!  What a relief.

In all seriousness, we know from the wise words of Yoda that fear leads to the dark side, so we want to make sure that we overcome fear in order that we do not turn to the dark side of depression, hopelessness, or anger.  So here are some steps to overcoming fear:

1. Identify the Fruits of Fear: Fear, which is rooted in the heart, produces certain actions and behaviors. What are your patterns of behaviors when you are uncomfortable, anxious, or in a situation with which you are unsure? Do you bite your nails? Sweat? Yell at others (to control others and the situation)? Do you clean and get organized (control your environment)? Do you eat more? Sleep less? Sleep more? Withdraw from others? Put your wall up? Try to please people? Think or obsess on your fear? These are all your fruits or actions that evidence fear and anxiety in your life.

2. Look at your Heart: Your actions are providing a glimpse into your heart, even if you don’t know it. The heart (and mind) is where fears are rooted. When you can identify your fruits of fear (step 1), that is when it is good to stop the actions and ask yourself: “What is it that I am afraid of? What do I fear?” Common fears include fear of rejection, fear of being abandoned by those who love you, fear of being hurt physically or emotionally, fear of losing control, fear of being a failure, fear of the unknown, fear of suffering, fear of death, etc. These fears often play out in the mind and effect sleep patterns, but sometimes they are pushed out of the mind and are demonstrated physically without knowledge of what’s going on in the heart or mind. This happens with panic attacks where the body acts all crazy (heart racing, breathing heavy, sweating, etc.) without any thought or acknowledgment of any fear. Then, often the panic attacks become the fear in and of themselves! Even so, it is important to get to the heart to identify what is at the root of our surface behaviors or physical responses so that we can work on permanent change.

3. Face your Fear through a Relationship with your Savior: I Jn 4:18 says “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.” Fear does not come from God. But perfect love does. Fear has to do with punishment and suffering. Love has to do with peace and rest. Fear involves enslaving someone to itself. Perfect love has to do with freedom from subjection. When we confront our fears through our relationship with God, fears dissipate and hopes lives on. When we choose to confront our fears, we need to understand that we are unable to adequately do so on our own. We need perfect love. We need a Savior.

My next blog will take a closer look at how a relationship with the Savior will help us see the truth behind John’s statement: “Perfect love casts out fear” and help make fear an uncontrolling factor in our lives.

The Fear Factor: Part 2 – Finding the Peace in Perfect Love

In the last blog, The Fear Factor: Part 1, I shared how fear can have a significant impact in our lives, but that a relationship with Christ will help us combat our fears.  I Jn 4:18 says “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.“   How does this happen?  How can “perfect love” drive out the fear that we experience?

First, when we see (or hear) the phrase “perfect love,” we need to understand that perfect love can only come from a perfect person (God or Christ).  Our love can hardly be seen as perfect as it is often intertwined with selfish motives and agendas (though I admit that it is possible through Christ in us!).  The evidence and understanding of God’s perfect love in our lives through a relationship with Christ will drive out the fear in our lives.  Let’s look at how a relationship with our Savior helps us to face our fears:

a. Fear of Rejection: Though it hurts when we are rejected by others, we can rest in knowing that God will not reject us (that is, for those who have accepted Christ).  Accepting and believing God’s opinion and perfect love for us as greater than the opinions of others will decrease and eradicate the fear of rejection in our lives.  We can be secure individuals through accepting His perfect love for us.  We must also understand that Jesus has been rejected by his closest friends, by his bride (the church), and by us.  He knows the feelings of rejection.  He’s felt the pain.  You’re not alone and he will lift your head as you lean on him. (For in-depth understanding, read The Search For Significance by Robert McGee & When People Are Big & God is Small by Ed Welch.)

b. Fear of Suffering/Death:  No one wishes to suffer, but one may be willing to go through it for those they love.  Jesus knows suffering.  He knows physical pain.  He knows emotional pain.  He was willing to be “obedient unto death,” to place himself in suffering because of his perfect love for you and me.  He knew that his obedience to the plan of salvation would dictate his suffering as he placed himself under his Father’s will.  Rom 8:28-29 explains that “all things will work for the good of those who love him” and that he is conforming us “to the image of Christ.”  To be willing to go through suffering (or at least, choose to go through it well) means trusting in His perfect love, character, and plan that it will work out for good.  Christ’s willingness to endure worked out according to his plan and our good (as well as his good!).  When we know that our ultimate fate rests in the hands of God, we can have a peace that rests upon His perfect love demonstrated for us on the cross.  He endured suffering and defeated death by raising from the dead.  When we believe this, we too will endure suffering well and will defeat death to have everlasting life through Christ.

c. Fear of Intimacy: A Fear of intimacy is often a masked fear of rejection or suffering.  ”If they get too close, they will reject me and I will be hurt.”  ”They will see me for who I am, know all of my faults, my failures, my quirks….me.”  God knows all of these things already.  He loves you for who you are, warts and all.  When we accept His perfect love for us, one that is not dependent on what we do or did, but depends on His character alone, then we can begin to accept ourselves as we are (not who we think we should be) and allow others to accept or reject us.

d. Fear of Failure:  Is this a fear of failing or being labeled a failure?  Failing at something occurs all the time.  Every day we fail to live up to perfection as defined by God (though often redefined by ourselves).  Often, the guilt of failing turns to shame as we label ourselves a failure.  In God’s eyes, for those who have accepted Christ as Savior, we must begin to see ourselves “soberly.”  Though we have failed and in many senses of the word are failures, we are not seen by God as such.  We are seen as holy, righteous, and perfect.  Why? Because of His perfect love.  ”For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son.”  Our failures have fallen upon His Son on the cross, and the Son’s righteousness has been given to us.  When we believe in the Son, God chooses to see us as His Son.  As holy, righteous, and perfect.

We must change our thinking and our hearts so that our lives reflect these truths of God’s perfect love.  Our fears will not be cast out simply by knowing these truths, but when we apply these truths of God’s perfect love for us through Christ, we will achieve peace and victory in our lives over our fears.  Need help?  Call Foundations Christian Counseling and set up a time to discuss in person (570-402-5088).

Dealing With Disappointment

A husband comes home from work hoping to be greeted with a warm kiss, but his presence is barely acknowledged.  A wife comes home from work, hoping her husband started dinner or cleaned before her arrival, but she does not get either wish.  A child opens up a gift on Christmas hoping it is a Nerf gun, only to find socks and underwear.  A Pastor meets with a member hoping to help, only to hear that the member is leaving the church.  A person hoping to accomplish their personal goals falls short…again.

Disappointment.  Being let down.  A familiar feeling for all of us, I’m sure.  As 2012 begins, gym membership rates are reduced, exercise equipment on sale, and new hopes are born as resolutions are made to improve the appearance of self.  Perhaps 2012 will be better than 2011.  Maybe this new year will bring about reduced weight and calories and increased confidence and determination.  I hope that is the case for you…but for many, the valiant efforts in the beginning of the year are overshadowed by giving in to the temptations of chocolate in February.  Disappointment.

As a perfectionist (only in looking at myself and not in cleanliness), I deal with disappointment often.  Too many times it is a disappointment for failing to measure up to my standards for myself.  Other times it is because I have not measured up to the standards of others.  Let’s face it…isn’t this what disappointment is?  It is the inability for ourselves or for others to measure up to the standards (or expectations) we have for them or the standards they have for us.

As I continue to grow in my relationship with the Lord, He has continued to reveal to me that when I am disappointed, it is often because I am living by the law, my law (or standards or expectations), and not by grace.  I need to continuously remind myself that if I live by grace, then I accept the reality that I am a sinner, that I will constantly fail, and that others will fail as well.  Failure to do this is living in pride.  It is prideful because disappointment comes from the expectation that I or others will not fail.  OF COURSE WE ALL FAIL, it is because we are sinners!  Other people will fail us and no one is excluded.  Pastors, friends, spouses, children, bosses, co-workers, postal workers, other drivers, etc., etc.  They will all fail us.  Sometimes their failings come from them falling short of our expectations of them, and sometimes it is because they just screwed up.

How do we deal with disappointments?  We accept that we fail.  We accept that others will fail.  We ask the Lord to search our heart’s expectations and unmet desires, we confess our pride and self-centeredness, and we ask for his help to live by grace.  We remind ourselves that we are sinners saved by grace through faith and we extend this grace to ourselves and others.  As long as there is sin and as long as people sin, we will all deal with disappointment.  But let’s not deal with it alone…but deal with it with Christ, through Christ, and for Christ that he be glorified in our lives. Amen.

The Bully In Me

The past two years, I have noticed a greater attention in the schools on bullying.  Walking into my kids’ school, there is a large banner hanging in the hallway saying, “This is a bully free zone,” and another banner stating “Be a buddy, not a bully.”  I wish we could make bully free zones where children would be accepting to others and stronger children would not prey upon the weaker ones.  But in reality, can we truly achieve this?

If we are to be honest with ourselves, many of us have been on both sides of bullying.  We have been victims of bullies and we have been bullies ourselves.  Bullies are not simply the people who try to intimidate us to get us to do what they want, but there is a bully inside us, too.  The bully came out with our younger siblings, when we told them what to do and when to do it.  The bully comes out in marriage when a husband intimidates his wife (often using his physical strength or hurtful words) or when a wife criticizes her husband for not doing what she wants him to do.  Bullying in all cases is not a “give me your milk money” kind of thing, but can be on different levels or extremes.

I remember a time in 8th or 9th grade when a classmate would “bully” me by using his strength and popularity in the class to give me a “purple nurple” (twisting a guy’s nipple until it bruises).  Then, when a less popular classmate would try to empower himself by trying to do the same to me, I shoved him against the locker threatening him with force.  I was bullied.  Then I bullied.  I was the weaker and intimidated.  Then I was the stronger and the one who intimidated.  Bullying empowers us to change others and get them to do what we want…and you know, often it works, but at the expense of another.

To bully is to “use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.”  Bullying involves fear and intimidation (often using threats of physical or emotional harm) to get others to do what we want.   It stems from our sinful nature, the part in us that says, “I want what I want when I want it….and you need to do what I want you to do…or else.”  

Often, we think that in order to be happy, we need circumstances to go as we want them to go.  But because others are unpredictable and don’t always fall in line with what we want, we feel the need to influence them to do as we want.  In other words,  we try to control others.  Other people, therefore, exist for our happiness or for our pleasure.  We are the kings and queens of our worlds and our spouses, children, peers, congregations, coworkers, etc. are our subjects to do our bidding.

If we are to get rid of the “bully in me,” we need to go to the cross of Christ, seek forgiveness for our self-centered ways, and consistently make Him the center of our lives (not ourselves).  Like Christ, we need to accept others as they are and not for who we want them to be (our subjects).  It is impossible to love others as Christ if we only see them as our subjects to fulfill our purposes.  Ed Welch, in his book When People are Big and God is Small, says, “we need other people in order to accomplish God’s purposes and most accurately reflect his unlimited glory.“

The bully in me says that I need people to make me happy.  Christ in me says that I need people to reflect his glory.  The bully in me says I need to control others.  Christ in me says I need to be self-controlled to love others.   The bully in me says others must do my bidding.  Christ in me says I must do His bidding.

Though I applaud the schools getting involved more to stop bullying (It is needed!), I believe they will fall short as they only police behavior.  In order to change the root cause (our sin nature), we must address the sin issue at the heart level and look to Christ to change us there.    The result of such efforts will be Christ in us, Christ in the schools, and glory to God.

Extra Innings

There is excitement when you’re watching your favorite sports team battle for a win, but when it gets into extra innings, you’re on the edge of your seat, especially if your team is the underdog.  You know that every moment and every play matter, because soon the game will be over, and you will either come out on top or be defeated and disappointed.  I’d like to share with you a brief personal story of a person whose life went into extra innings…where every moment counted…where the chances of being victorious were slim to none…but in the end, who came out on top.  This person is my grandmother, Muriel Dietrich.

On Thursday, November 10, 2011, my grandmother went to be with the Lord.  She lived to be 91 years of age and battled cancer for 56 years.  Her life was a testimony of faith, perseverance, thanksgiving, and love.  When first diagnosed with cancer, the doctors gave her about 5 years to live.  The cancer started in her lungs and moved towards her neck to the base of her skull.  Through surgeries, chemo, periods of remission, and additional doctor’s visits throughout the next 56 years, the doctors continued to limit her life span to years or even months…yet she kept going, baffling the doctors and their false predictions.  Her attitude was “I’m going to give it to God and keep living”.  And she did.

Throughout the years, especially the past few years as her health began to deteriorate (but also throughout her life), she expressed thanksgiving to God for allowing her to live when the doctors said that she would not.  She would often state how God had seen her through, how blessed she was to have two wonderful daughters who have two wonderful partners.  She would state how blessed she was to have upstanding grandchildren who chose wonderful spouses.  Sometimes, she would say how great my wife was so often that I would wonder if she loved my wife more than me!

I believe that the cancer she fought had a large impact on her perspective on life.  She knew that she was living on borrowed time, in extra innings, and that the extra time was a gift to her from God to see her family grow in numbers, in faith, and in love for her and one another.  Upon every visit, she would share some stories of the past, but would always share how blessed she was for living a long life.

Though eventually the cancer took her life, she did not lose in those extra innings.  No, she had won.  When facing the cancer, she said she would “give it to God and keep on living.”  When considering her heart & soul, she said the same thing.  ”I’m going to give it to God and keep on living.”  Death would not be the end, because she had given her life to Christ.  She had accepted his sacrifice for her sins on the cross.  In living, her life belonged to Him.  In dying, her life belonged to Him.  In death, her life remains in Him and with Him.  Since she had made this decision to accept Christ’s death and resurrection, her life remains connected to His.  She will keep on living…and not just in our hearts and in our memories, but with Christ in heaven.  No, death through cancer is not a victory for cancer.  Cancer could not separate her from His love or His presence.

If we think about it…we are all in extra innings.  Our lives will be nearing an end (some closer than others).  Our time on earth is “like a vapor.”  Each of us lives under the common grace that He gives us, allowing us time to spend with loved ones and time to come near to Him….Since we cannot win in extra innings by ourselves, we need someone who will win it for us.  We need a God who loves us so much that He will provide a way for our weak selves to have victory over a stronger opponent (death).  We need Christ.  Now all we have to do is “give our lives to God and then keep on living.”

Meeting the Standard

Standard:  An acknowledged measure of comparison for quantitative or qualitative value;  A degree or level of requirement, excellence, or attainment; A requirement of moral conduct (www.thefreedictionary.com).

Setting a standard.  A standard of measurement.  Standardized tests.  Certain standards have been around, it seems, forever.  In the Old Testament, God had given Moses the Ten Commandments to express to the Israelites His standards that they were to meet.  The Ten Commandments were God’s law that was to be obeyed in love and fear of Him.  As none could follow the law, the law pointed to something greater:  Grace given through Christ.

Because of our sinful nature, we have a tendency to want to live according to certain standards as well as to set standards for others.  Where did these standards come from?  These standards may be originally mentioned through Scripture, they can be the standards of others for us, like parents or other authority figures or loved ones; or they can be standards that we set up for ourselves.   When we fail to meet these standards, we will be punished by those who made those standards (whether ourselves or others).  If, as a child, my parents set the standard of me not painting the cat, blue, and I painted the cat, blue, then I would be punished (I should have painted the cat red, instead!  Just kidding, we never had a cat) for not meeting that standard.  If I failed to meet the standard of my own making, I would punish myself by sulking and getting down on myself (followed by comfort food).

We regularly make standards for ourselves and for others to meet.  We call them expectations.  These expectations vary depending on our mood, the time of day, the person, and the location.  For example, when some wives are upset, they may expect their husbands to talk to them, to cuddle, or to leave them alone to figure things out.  These are the expectations that vary according to moods and situations.  These are the standards.  These are the law.  When they are not met successfully by their husbands, there is disappointment, hurt, and possibly expressed anger for not meeting the expectations.

All of us have standards for others and ourselves.  The problem is, they are like God’s law (10 Commandments) in that they cannot be met all the time.  Sometimes, yes…but all the time, impossible.  Instead of them being God’s law, however, it is our law.  We have raised ourselves to like God (as king) who has the right to punish others and ourselves for not meeting the standards we have set.

In striving to become like Christ, we must recognize how God responds to us when we fail to meet His standards. What does He do but give us grace.  He does this through Christ who willingly took the punishment for our sins upon himself.  Now, when we fail to meet God’s standards, we seek His forgiveness and receive his forgiveness through Christ.

But when others fail to meet our standards and expectations, how do we respond?  Is it in recognizing Christ’s sacrifice for them, too, in the forgiveness of their sins against us?  Can we recognize the grace that we have received in failing to meet His laws and give that grace to others who have not met our standards and laws?

Think about your own standards and expectations of others.  What will you do when they fail to meet them? Ask yourself, what did Christ do for me that he hasn’t done for them?  Will you look to give punishment that you have not received from God or will you look to extend the grace that you have received through Christ?  Think about it.

Believe!

This morning, I’ve had the wonderful pleasure of being called a liar by one of my children. Well, he actually said, “you lied,” but that is essentially saying the same thing.  The thing is, we remembered things differently, but instead of saying that he does not remember that or saying how he remembered the event, accusations were made as to my intent or motive.
Tonight, I have the opportunity to speak to about a dozen women from Truth For Women about mentoring women in the Lehigh Valley. One of the topics that we are going to touch on is leading people to Christ in the mentoring relationship. One key term continues to be raised in my preparation: the term “believe.” As I searched the Scriptures for the term “believe” on www.biblegateway.com (I recommend doing that, by the way), I was pulled towards the importance of belief in the eyes of God.  What is it about belief that is so important?  Well, that we believe he exists, that we believe He sent His son to die for our sins, that we believe Christ was raised from the dead, that we believe His Word, that we believe without doubt, etc.  One verse that hit me was this:

1 John 5:10
… Anyone who does not believe God has made him out to be a liar, because he has not believed the testimony God has given about his Son.

If we choose not to believe Him – that He is telling the truth, that He stands for truth, that He is the truth – we instead believe that He is lying…that He is a liar.  If another person tells you something that you do not believe, you are saying that they are either lying, they are wrong, or they mis-remembered (that’s my new favorite term – sure beats saying that I forgot!), all the while believing that you are right and they are wrong.  When we choose to dis-believe God, or believe He does not exist or that what He revealed about Himself in His word is fictitious, we are accusing Him of lying.  God does not mis-remember (He remembers all – though “forgets” our sins or chooses not to hold our sins against us).  God is never wrong (He is always right). So therefore the logical conclusion must be that He is lying.

When we accuse others of lying, we make two assumptions:  #1) We are right; and #2) Their intent was to purposely deceive.  When we “know” that we are right, we take a position of holding the truth…the truth is within us.  If the truth is within us, and our truth is right, then the other person is wrong.  Their truth simply cannot be.  They are a liar.

God has been moving me more and more towards understanding his grace, that my actions will never win his favor or cause him to keep his love for me.  His number one concern is whether we believe in His Truth.  Belief in Him, in His ability and in His love will bring forth the necessary changes and fruit in our lives, but apart from this belief (or faith) in him, we cannot please Him (it is sin) because it comes from disbelief (or is not done in faith – see Rom 14:23).

For there to be change in our lives…to forgive, to fall back in love, to restore a broken marriage, to refrain from addictions, to become a godly wife or husband…all of this must be done with belief.  We must first believe that God can and will change our hearts.  Belief in Him is a submission of our lives, putting aside what we once believed would bring us what we wanted.  It is saying #1) God, you are right (and true) and #2) Your intent is to love me and set me free…therefore, I believe.

If you’re looking for change in your life, believe in Him and the one He sent.  Anything less is disbelief & sin. It is calling God a liar. Believe, my friends. Believe.

Waiting for God

Ever been in a waiting room for more than 15 minutes….waiting…. with kids?  As a parent, I try not to be in such situations (even though I have great kids) because I know that when they get impatient, I get impatient with them.  So, we try to occupy their time waiting with handheld video games or a book or something to get their minds off of, well….waiting.  Why?  Because waiting is boring, right?  There’s no excitement in it (though if you’re waiting for the dentist, there probably is anxiety!).   “When are we going to go in?”  ”How much longer?”  These questions are almost as annoying as “Are we there yet?“, but as much as I try to tell my kids to be patient, I’m often thinking the same things.

In Exodus 32, The Israelites were tired of waiting for Moses.  He was up on the mountain and they had to wait for him to come down.  They were waiting so long they weren’t sure he was ever going to come down.  The Israelites lost all contact with Moses and therefore lost all contact with God.  They became spiritually bored.  So,while they waited,  they decided to get busy doing things that were familiar to them.  They had Aaron make a golden calf and began to worship it and celebrate, dancing the night away.  That didn’t work out too well.

Have you ever become spiritually bored?  Have you ever asked God questions which have never been answered?  Have you waited on him without answer for a time and then decided to just go about your life as if you were no longer waiting with purpose on God?  Have you ever wondered why you aren’t getting that excited feeling you once felt when you first came to know Christ…that mountaintop experience?  I know I’ve felt that way.

Spiritual boredom often comes when we lose contact with God.  Perhaps we are waiting for unanswered questions or we are disconnected because we have become distracted by…well, life.  Perhaps there is a sin issue that you are asking God to take away, but He has decided to allow you to work through it rather than deliver you from it.  Often times we are waiting for God to act or answer, but He does not seem to do either.

Scriptures repeatedly point out that our faith is not necessarily a faith of waiting, but of action.  ”Seek first the Kingdom of God” (action), “Follow me” (action), “faith without deeds is dead”, etc, etc.  At the same time, Scripture also states that we are to wait upon the Lord.  We are to wait in expectation (Ps 5:3), wait in hope (Ps 33:20), and wait patiently (Ps 37:7) for the Lord to do His will.  In these passages (and many others), our waiting for the Lord is based on a trust that He will do as promised.  This waiting has a focus on Him, His character, and His love.  When we wait for the Lord to answer our prayers, our eagerness and focus may lead to the action of preparing for an answer.  For example, take the two farmers who prayed for rain.  One prayed and waited (and became bored), the other prayed and prepared the fields as he waited.

What about you?  Are you waiting for an answer to prayer or for the Lord to act?  Are you simply waiting or are you waiting with anticipation, preparing your own fields (heart) for His answer?  I have one prayer that I have been asking God for for many, many years.  He has not answered this prayer…yet.  At times, it has been easy to give up hope, believing that God will not answer my prayer.  But this is not faith.  This is not waiting with hope.  This is not me preparing my heart for His answer.  Friends, do not give up hope.  Do not wait without anticipation, growth, or preparedness for how He will answer.

I’ve recently read that our faith has to be so strong to pray for something and believe we’ll get it, while having a faith so strong that even when the answer is not given or is a “no”, that our faith will still remain unwavering.  That type of faith can only come as we wait upon the Lord, and at the same time actively seek Him  (through reading, prayer, and applying our lives to His Word)….This is how we can prevent spiritual boredom and not become distracted by the familiar idols of our past.

Hurry Up!

Have you ever hurried yourself and you family up to get somewhere on time only to wait?  You drive yourself (and your family) nuts trying to rush out the door to get somewhere on time, drive like a crazy person, get irritated at the red traffic lights, get caught behind a slow driver and then by the time you get to your destination, you sit there waiting….and waiting….and waiting…  Only to be more upset that you had to wait because the doctor, or appt. or event was not on time.  ”Wow,” you think, “Why was I in such a hurry?  If I knew that they were going to run late, too, I wouldn’t have rushed.”  By then, it’s too late.  Impatience has sets its course and the irritation levels are already on high.

Being on time to places is at times, a big deal to me.  It demonstrates respect to the other person.  It demonstrates responsibility.  It is demonstrating a consideration for others, which  is pleasing to God.  But not everyone has this value…and chances are, you will have at least one person in your family whose values about being on time are different than yours.  Why?  Because God is not finished with you yet.  He is using the sins and struggles of those around you to make you holy.

Though being on time is an important value, there are times where some individuals place the importance of being on time even higher than the importance of “love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself.”  How does this happen?  It happens when there is yelling and screaming for one’s tardiness.  It happens when there are criticisms about the person being late.  It happens when my “need” of the other person being on time becomes more important than how I treat the other person.  Being “on time” can become an idol in a person’s life as the person who is constantly late becomes the object who is in my way from me getting what I want.

Is there anything wrong with being on time?  Absolutely not.  As a matter of fact, I strongly encourage it.  And if someone is constantly late, it should be addressed in a loving manner as they are also created in the image of God.  A conversation might look like this: “Honey, I have noticed that when it is time to leave the house, that you have not been ready to go and we have been late to church.  This has caused us both a lot of frustration as we often argue when we are running behind schedule, get to church late, and then neither one of us are in the mood to worship.  Being on time to places is very important to me and is a way that we can love others.  What do you think we can do to fix this issue?” Reply: “I know that we’ve been late and that it is important to you.  I don’t want to argue and fight when we go places, either.  Maybe if I can get up a few minutes earlier and if you can give me a 10 minute warning, then we can leave on time.”

This may be oversimplified in some cases, however the point remains that Love for God and the other person is placed in a greater priority than simply being somewhere on  time.  To yell, curse, spit, throw a temper, and honk the horn for 5 minutes while you’re waiting demonstrates an impatience by not getting what you want when you want it.  There is a bigger perspective to see here, and that is that we live in the Kingdom of God (or the Kingdom of God is in you) and do not live solely in the kingdom of self.  When we recognize this and choose to live in this greater kingdom (the Kingdom of God), our actions will demonstrate a consistent effort that places love for God and others in a higher place in our lives than the kingdom of self.  Remember, God has placed a consistently late person in your life not to make you miserable, but to make you holy.  Adopt this perspective, and it will go well for you.